It often happens in life that we tend to stigmatise; people, relations, emotions and much more and in this process, ‘desperate’ becomes a catchphrase for many. It is often believed that if a person has clung on he or she is desperate. We call them losers for not trying to get a stand and get on with their lives. However there is a significant other side to this, which is more or less disregarded by us. Yes! even I do it at times. Have we ever thought that the reason for the persistent pursuit might be because the other person never wants to quit and will spend the last little bit of life on saving what he or she has their conviction towards. Many might think that the person is insecure or ‘needs to get a life’. What we often oversee is that how big the other person is to hold on. Life often drags us through rough terrains and it takes a lot to stand up and say ‘I will not let go’.
This is not only about relationships per say, this about your goals in life, the small decisions you make, this is about your choice. It is foolish to believe that what we wish would come to us easy. You need to work towards your goal, your dreams, and in that process it might often happen that you trip, or slip or bruise yourself black and blue, that does not mean that you should give up. Your conviction in your dream is what will help you stand back up dust off the dirt and get back on the track. This as per me is a refining process and this is what helps you to age wisely and gracefully., just like wine, get finer with age!
However, I write mostly about relationships and love, I will speak about giving up on the people we love. It often happens that we get so worked up in our own issues that we tend to have attributional errors. We tend to succumb to self serving bias and glorify ourselves for a stable relationship and accuse the other person for bring all our efforts down. Then our little gods and goddesses inside our heads tell us that why is the onus of the entire relationship fall on us? And we get up and take the elegant walk. Have you ever turned back and judged your actions without taking sides? It is easy to blame someone for being a screw up, even easier to give up saying “I screwed up…”. What is difficult is holding on during the worst times, giving the other person the space they want. Many would argue that ‘what is not ours can never be and we need to let go’ many would also defend their pride and think that it is belittling for them. To them I would like to say that how do you know if the other person is not your lobster (reference to Phoebe Buffay; FRIENDS. Someone I love once told me that there are difficult times in a relationship, so difficult that either one or both would feel that giving up is the better option, but then we will not.
You never know that the person you are quitting on, you are his redemption, you are the one thing they are fighting the world for, and someday they will come back, will you not be there when they do? Will you just let go?